The Meaning of Waiting
by FrancesBonnefoyLilyoftheValley
Summary: What is the meaning of life? Lukas explains his meaning of life and all his pain with it. DENNOR Oneshot. Sappy...


**Hello everyone, and welcome to my attempt at being deep. I was reading another story when i thought of this, but they aren't the same, I don't plagiarize. So, enjoy my sappy crap, and remember that my name isn't Hidekaze Himaruya. I don't own this beautiful thing called Hetalia. Also, if you want a Denmark perspective, I'd like to know. Reviews mightily appreciated.**

Sometimes I wonder the meaning of life. Everybody does at some point in their lives, and its only human nature, right? Yes. I also wonder the meaning of love and family. That's normal too.  
We're all just the same in that respect, questioning our world. What sets us apart, however, is that some of us do find meanings. Whether it be "We live so we may die" or "We live for love", etc.

You were my meaning, Matthias. All of your six feet of goofy enthusiasm. From the top of your golden hair, to the tips of your toes. The sunshine in my dark, scared world. You brought joy into my life and changed it. If I had known what would happen, I wouldn't have change a damn thing. Not one.

I always look back that moment when we first met.  
I was alone in a dumpy little coffee shop, I had just relapsed from my anxiety problems for the umpteenth time. I was tired, my precious one. I was cold. I had no meaning to my life.  
When I stood up to use the restroom,and it hit me. Quite literally. You spilled all your coffee down my front.

"Sorry, bro!" a blond stranger shreiked.  
"You absolute idiot!" I yelped, looking him dead in the ocean blue depths of his gorgeous eyes.  
His hair stood on end and that face practically glowed with embarrassment.  
He walked me to the restroom and helped me clean up.  
"My name is Matthias, by the way,"the blue eyed man said, grinning ferociously.  
"Pleasure," I brushed off sarcastically.  
You insisted my names so many times in such a small frame of our history. It took what seemed like forever, but our circumstances seemed to call it forth.  
"My name...is Lukas," I finally spoke, my face quite red by this point.

And that, my dear, is the start of my meaning. That first glorious moment when I gave a part of me to you. The name I so rarely give to others. My anxiety was overcome for a brief moment because of my immediate anger. All because you spilled coffee down my front. It was the best thing. I still laugh sweetly at the memory.

We were friends for the longest time. I was unwilling and cold towards you; it something I do regret, but you managed my frigid exterior. You and your warm attitude slowly melted my icy, lonely heart. My meaning was gaining hope.

You were there when my dear brother passed away in the arms of his love, and you comforted me. When I cried and hit. You were there during those long nights when I couldn't sleep and felt the darkness of my inner self try to consume me. When I felt broken and shattered. You were there when I collapsed at a stupid little party we went to. You were there when I had my first dog. When I laughed and joked on the rarest occasion. I remember it all. I felt my heart slowly accept you. All my trust and adoration, to you. My meaning was beautiful and shining.

Then she waltz into your life. That witch, Emma. She tempted you with her false gorgeousness and her fake, shimmery personality. She was never any good for you, yet you fell deeply for her. All I could do was watch as you looked at another with the same love I looked at you with. I may have been a man, but I felt that didn't matter.I was wrong apparently. I truly would have said something, but I felt you would laugh, or be disgusted with me. I was there at your proposal. I cried myself to sleep that night. My heart shattered. My meaning was betrayed and rotten.

I was there as your best man during your ceremony, keeping my heart ache in for you, as that tramp flounced down the isle with her disgustingly flowery dress. My heart felt like a black pit as you kissed her, sealing your promise.  
I found myself alone during your reception in the back room, crying again. My meaning full of hatred.  
I was there for the first year of your "wonderful marriage". You always asked me why I never found anyone like your precious Emma to be with. I shrugged it off, saying my love was spoken for by someone who I couldn't reach. You said that person would come around one day. I laughed cruelly everytime. My meaning a cruel joke.

I'll never forget that day when you came to me, and said you were going to be a father. Something in me snapped. I had made it this far, but something cold grew again inside me. My meaning slowly crumbling down again...

I moved away from you. Out of contact, out of city, out of country.  
We stayed this way for a long time, and my meaning mended into a memory of pain. My ashy hair was just beginning to go silver when you called me for the first time in years.

We caught up like old friends would, but my empty feeling still held. Then I heard the news. Your wife cheated. You had a wonderful little son, Emil, after my brother, a lovely little house, and great job, but she cheated with the neighbor who seemed more desirable. I didn't have a specific reaction other than shock. You said you'd moved out peacefully, taking your boy.  
After that phone call we met up again. Mind you it took such a long drive, but I did. To your little house in the country. My heart scarred and wounded, but prepared.

I met your boy and he looked just like you with sweet blue eyes and crazy blond hair. The beautiful thing was the child of a demon woman, but acted like you, the angel.  
I was scared, but I had to tell you. Your son was playing in your yard, so I told you. I'd loved you for all these years. I endured all this pain and suffering for you. I tried to pass it off lightly, but then you shocked me.  
Our lips met and sparks flew and made me feel young again. My first true kiss. You told me you loved me ever since you held me during my first panic attack and admired my strength, for putting up with everything, but you weren't sure about what my reaction to your feelings would be.

I smacked you at this point, but you continued. You told me you were blinded by an strong infatuation and you regretted your marriage. You kindly explained how you didn't really have a reaction to your wife's infidelity, except concern for your son. I was taken aback, but understood. My meaning brimming with emotion.

That's when we began the rest of our lives together. We watched your-our-son grow into a wonderful young man. We made love to the best of our aging abilities, making up for lost time, and spent our days reading and taking long walks. My meaning was chipped, but perfect.

Then, I got sick. Really sick. Matthias, you stayed patient with me. You took care of me to the best of your abilities. As I lay taking my last breaths, you held me like you were never letting go. I let my last breath slip, and I soon saw a bright light, and ended up here.

I watch over you and our boy every day. You are doing such a good job being there for our grandkids, telling stories, playing games, and telling them our story. My brother is here too. He watches his love, who he left too early, and his love's wife and children.

I wait for the day you join me here, but I want you to be satisfied first. I want you to find your meaning like I did mine:"Love is worth the wait". It's cheesy and mushy, but it's mine. All mine. Just like my love for you, Matthias.

Epilogue  
Matthias breathed in.  
"Goodbye Emil, I love you"  
He breathed out. He realized.  
Then, a bright flash of light.  
Matthias stood there in a meadow.  
Flowers danced lazily in the wind and grass tickled his bare feet. He took a breath, stepping into new air.  
A figure in the distance called to him. He ran, with his large bound and leaps to it.

"Took you long enough," he said.  
"I'm sorry you had to wait again," Matthias replied.  
"Did you find your meaning?" the figure asked.  
"I believe so," Matthias stated.  
"Enlighten me," the other demanded.  
"Good things come when you wait," he blurted on command, blushing and smirking like an idiot.  
"How sappy. Just like you."  
"I know, but its true."  
"Well, I'm done waiting," the figure grumbled.  
"I'm done making you wait, Lukas," the blue eyed man replied, sweeping the other into his arms for eternity.


End file.
